May 27, 2008

  • I can't either (but I do)

    Edith just commented, "i still can't believe you're really moving."

    I can't either, lol. But I was talking to a good friend recently about church planting (which is not exactly what we're doing, seeing as the church seems very nicely planted already, but anyway ...) she said it was like surfing a giant tidal wave. We talked about that feeling of being swept away by something much, much larger than oneself, the feeling of lack of control, and the feeling of ones complete inadequacy to stop everything or affect a "save" should something go wrong. Then there's a feeling that results from this, one of gratitude for the faith and hope that God is in control, because then it's like our father throwing us up in the air and catching us -- it's scary, but it can be fun, too, because we know we're OK.

    Well, this feels like that. I have a very strong sense in me that we are supposed to be doing this, BUT,  to my logical, methodical, meticulously careful and prudent side, this has actually been a completely unacceptable turn of events from just about every angle. I had everything planned out in every area this affects and none of this works with any of those plans. There were a number of very serious, substantial financial and logistical bariers to this move happening, and I am not a person to just ignore things like that and hope for the best. But every one of them has been pledged to be removed.

    For example, I was in a contract for phone and internet service that still had another 2 years to end. That company has pledged to release me from that contract if I move to an area where they don't service (such as Baytown), though the contract does not have any provision for that and seems to prevent it.

    And for another example, we weren't sure what we would do with this Houston house in such a bad selling market, but we though we would try to rent it, and figured that would be a long, tiring, and constant process of locating and screening one renter after another. And then the ideal renters emailed me from their honeymoon to ask if I happened to know anyone renting a house or something within a certain price range, area, etc., and this Houston house was the perfect match for them.

    So anyway suffice it to say there are huge bocks lifting out of place, like a huge game of reverse tetris, decontructing a mountain, jagged piece by jagged piece, before my eyes.

    Or maybe I'm just trippin from too many cardboard boxes.